A lady was on her way to Heaven. Upon arrival, a concerned St. Peter met her at the Pearly Gates.
“I am really sorry,” St. Peter said, “but Heaven is suffering from an overload of godly souls and we have been forced to put up an entrance exam for new arrivals to ease the burden of Heavenly arrivals.”
“OK,” the lady said. “Ask away.”
“Three questions,” St. Peter said.
St. Peter: “Which two days of the week start with the letter T ?”
“How many seconds are there in a year?”
“What was the name of the swagman in Waltzing Matilda?”
The following morning, St. Peter called upon the lady and asked if she had considered the questions, to which she replied: “I have.”
St. Peter: “Which two days of the week start with the letter T”'
The lady: “Today and tomorrow.”
St. Peter pondered, then decided the answer can be applied to the question.
St. Peter: “How many seconds in a year?”
The lady: “Twelve.”
St. Peter: “Only twelve? How did you arrive at that figure?”
The lady: “Easy. There is the second of January, the second of February, right through to the second of December, giving a total of twelve seconds.”
St. Peter: “I will allow the answer to stand, but you need to get the third and final question exactly correct to be allowed into Heaven. Tell me the answer to the name of the swagman in Waltzing Matilda?”
The lady: “Of the three questions, I found this the easiest to answer.”
St. Peter: “Really? What is the answer?'
The lady: “Andy.”
St. Peter: “Andy?”
The lady: “Andy.”
St. Peter paced this way and that deliberating her answer, and finally asked: “How in God’s name did you arrive at THAT answer?”
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